it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
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