I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
