"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
