Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
