gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize