So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think pants incapable of making pants work
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
