its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
