I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Congratulations! We have a period
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
