at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
