OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
The adults are the big ones right?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
