Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I need to align my fucking chakras
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize