trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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