I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
