i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
