GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
