So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
