Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
