Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
