We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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