Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
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