A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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