so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She announced her abortion via fbk
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Randomize
