i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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