OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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