I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
