I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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