i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
