but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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