after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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