lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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