like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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