i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
