just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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