Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
