Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
