I want to make a zoo with you.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
