Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
