Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
