it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just had sex on a roof
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
