i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Randomize
