Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
