yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
