haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
