We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
