Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
So gin and wine won't be happening again
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Randomize
