So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize