By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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