You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
