This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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