i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
