there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
