Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I deserve this hangover.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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