He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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