I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
