I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize