Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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