Tell her she can't have a vagina
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
