so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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