Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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