Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
