I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
