you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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