good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
