How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
