Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
