thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
