so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
